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So, sex-dating—basically hookup central, right? Folks just wantin’ a quick tumble, no strings, no riddles. Me? I’d rather hug me rock in the dark! But—fun fact, precious—didja know it kicked off way back? Like, 1600s, sneaky ads in papers— “lonely gent seeks saucy lass!” True story! Now it’s all DMs and dick pics—progress? We hates it!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks? Not me! Rushed outta my apartment on Via Roma, and let me tell ya, the streets were buzzing. Camucia-Monsigliolo is this cute little town, but today? It was like a beehive on caffeine.