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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shepherd in Canicatti ain’t just about herdin’ sheep. Nah, it’s a whole rollercoaster ride. So, I wake up early, right? The sun’s barely peekin’ over the hills, and I’m already feelin’ the heat. I grab my coffee from that little bar on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best cornetti in town. I swear, I could live off those things.

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