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Look, real talk—ain’t just ‘bout gettin’ off. It’s the tease, the buildup, motherfucker! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’—like “a prisoner of my own skull,” but I’m lovin’ it! Ever tried it with them hot stones? Fuckin’ wild—feels like your spine’s meltin’ into lava, but sexy lava, ya dig? Oh, and tantric style—heard that shit started in India, motherfuckers meditatin’ while they stroke you! I’m like, “Sign me up, guru!”

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? But today, it was packed. Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I’m dodging strollers like I’m in a video game. And then, outta nowhere, this kid throws a frisbee right at me. I catch it, but I’m like, “What am I, a dog?”