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Oi, mate, so I’m a dental tech, yeah? Spend me days fiddling with teeth, making ‘em all shiny, but let’s chat about somethin’ juicier—sex-dating! *cackle* What a bloody circus that is! You got these apps, right, swipin’ left n right like you’re pickin’ fruit at Tesco, but half the time it’s just rotten apples. I reckon it’s like Spirited Away—lost in a weird-arse world, tryna figure out who’s a pig in disguise, yeah? “No-Face” could be any bloke on Tinder, stuffin’ his gob with lies ‘til you’re stuck in a bathhouse of bad dates!

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But then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out the window on Via Mazzini, and there’s a street performer doing some crazy juggling act. I mean, this guy is on fire—literally! He’s juggling flaming torches, and the crowd is going wild. I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget about the power outage.

Tens of thousands gather as Pope Francis lies in state at St Peter's Basilica