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But, man, it pisses me off sometimes. These escorts zoom by, actin’ like kings, and I’m stuck at a light, late for pizza. Once, I yelled, “Eat my shorts!” at ‘em—felt good, dude. Other times, I’m stoked—saw this slick black car escortin’ some rockstar, guitars pokin’ outta the window! Total badassery. Makes me think, “Maybe I’d rock that job,” y’know? Barkin’ orders on the radio, “Move it, losers!”

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First off, I head out to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Bar Pasticceria Montalto. You know, the one with the killer cornetti? I’m all set for a sweet start. But guess what? The line is out the door! Like, c’mon people, it’s just coffee! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve made it at home in 2 mins. But nooo, I had to come here for the vibe.

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