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About Turin

I tried it once, okay? Total disaster! This chick’s hands were like sandpaper—swear to God! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is exfoliation!” I wanted to yell, “Spring break forever!” and bolt, but I’m too polite. Too neurotic. I just grumbled, “Pretty, pretty bad,” in my head. Paid $80 for torture—ridiculous! Made me so mad I coulda kicked a wall, but also—kinda funny now. You live, you learn.

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Then, I got a call from my buddy. He was like, “Dude, you gotta check out this new pizzeria!” I was starving, so I was like, “I’m in!” We headed to Pizzeria Da Michele, and let me tell ya, the pizza was insane. I mean, the crust was so thin, it was practically a cracker. But the toppings? Perfection. I was in pizza heaven. But then, my buddy dropped his slice, and I was like, “Noooo! Not the pizza!”

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