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So, ya lay there, all nakey, and hands just—woosh—magic! Little fact: some pros use hot stones—hot potatoes, I call ‘em! Surprised me first time, like, whoa, cookin’ me? Nah, it’s chill, melts ya like jellyfish goo. I’d exaggerate and say it’s better than donuts, but—nah, donuts win. Still, sexual-massage is dope—makes ya giggle and wiggle! Ever try it? Oh, oh, and the ending—sometimes ya get a “happy one,” wink-wink, but don’t tell SpongeBob, he’d freak!

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After that, I’m feeling the pressure. I decide to take a breather. I stroll down Via Garibaldi, trying to clear my head. The sun’s shining, and I spot this gelato shop. I mean, who can resist gelato, right? I grab a cone—pistachio, of course—and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

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