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About Naples

So, I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—gods, an erotic-massage’d be gold after a day dodgin’ Cersei’s bullshit. Little known fact: ancient Greeks, those randy fucks, they had erotic-massage down pat. Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? Rubbed oil on wrestlers, got ‘em loose, prob’ly hard too, heh. Bet they didn’t confess that in the scrolls! Makes ya wonder—did Plato get a sneaky rubdown? Bet he did, smirkin’ all philosophical-like.

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I finally squeeze through and find this amazing stand selling polenta. I’m like, “Yesss!” But then, this kid bumps into me, and my polenta goes flying. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Really, kid?!” I mean, it’s polenta! My heart was breaking.

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