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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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After that, I’m off to Via della Libertà. I’m feeling good, like I’m on a roll. But then, I hit a snag. A big ol’ dumpster is blocking the way. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Who puts a dumpster here?” I squeeze through, and guess what? More rats! I’m starting to think these little guys are plotting against me.

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