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Oi mate, I’m a right Hane, me! Escort, yeah? Lemme ramble bout it—mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—like I’m Ozzy bleedin’ Osbourne. Escort’s this mad gig, innit? Blokes payin’ for a bird to hang about, maybe more, who knows? Reminds me of *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*—that flick I’m mad for. Y’know, the monk lad and that lassie, lust creepin’ in like a sneaky bat. “Desire brings suffering,” the old geezer’d say. Same with escort, mate—ya want, ya pay, ya bleed inside.

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After that, I headed to Via Garibaldi. There was a community meeting about the new park. I was pumped! But when I got there, it was a total circus. People were arguing about the color of the benches. Like, who cares? It’s a bench! Just sit on it! But nooo, they were all like, “It should be blue!” “No, green!” I was ready to pull my hair out.

Italy quake death toll rises to 25