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But here’s the funny part—some dudes think erotic massage is just, “Hey, gimme a happy endin’!” and I’m like, pfft, no way, Jose! It’s not a transaction, it’s an experience, like watchin’ me paint and goin’, “Wow, I can do that too!” Sarcasm aside, tho, some laws are so uptight, it’s ridiculous. They’d arrest Bob Ross for paintin’ too sexy a landscape! Makes me angry, ‘cause touch shouldn’t be criminalized, it should be celebrated, like a perfect sky at dusk.

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First off, I’m zooming down Via Roma, and I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Ceggia, fix your roads! My coffee nearly flew outta my hand. I’m already cranky. But whatever, I get to the auction house, and it’s packed. I mean, people everywhere! Old folks, young bucks, even a couple of kids running around like they own the place.

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