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But gods, the stench—sweat, ale, desperation—makes me wanna hurl. Pissed me off last week, saw her wink at Jaime—my Jaime! Wanted to claw her eyes out, “I choose violence,” screamed it in my head. She’d probs laugh, “Your brother’s prick’s mine, love.” Cheeky slag. Still, gotta hand it to her, survivin’ this shithole—takes guts. Happiest I felt was hearin’ she kneed some drunkard’s balls into his throat—priceless!

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Finally, I get the crowd back. We’re bidding, and it’s intense. I’m shouting, “Going once, going twice!” And just when I think I’m gonna sell it for a fortune, the hat guy jumps in. “I’ll give you a pizza for it!” A pizza? Really? I’m about to lose it. But the crowd loves it. They’re laughing, and I’m just rollin’ with it.

Figure 10. Part of a map of 1561 showing the woodland areas between...