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Alright, mate, strap in—here’s me, Elon, your rogue Mountain Guide, riffin’ on findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m trekkin’ through some gnarly peaks, right? Snow’s hittin’ me like a Tesla on ludicrous mode, wind’s screamin’—total chaos. Then bam, outta nowhere, I’m thinkin’ bout Ida, that flick from 2013, Pawlikowski’s masterpiece. That nun, man, searchin’ for truth in Poland’s grim-ass past—kinda like me, but with less hookers and more existential dread.
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After that, I decide to hit up the gelato place on Via Dante. Best gelato ever! I get a scoop of pistachio and one of stracciatella. Heaven in a cone! But then, I see a pigeon eyeing my gelato. I swear, that bird looked like it was plotting something. I’m not sharing, buddy! I take a step back, and boom! I trip over a curb. Gelato everywhere! I’m on the ground, covered in ice cream, and the pigeon just flies away like it won the lottery.
Carabinieri caught him stealing, Albanian thief threatens them with an ax
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