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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.

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Then, I head over to the Parco delle Feste. It’s this cute little park where locals hang out. I plop down on a bench, munching on my peaches, and just chill for a bit. But then, this group of teenagers starts blasting music. Like, seriously? I’m trying to enjoy nature here! But they’re having a blast, dancing and laughing. I can’t help but smile. Youth, man. They’ve got that energy.

Thousands flock to Costa Rica’s Barrio Escalante’s La Luz outdoor festival