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About Bari

I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, man, if I was a pimp, I’d be rollin’ in it! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Prostitutes got stories—wild ones! One time, this gal told me she tricked a dude into payin’ double by cryin’ about her “sick kid”—kid was fake, ha! Total con, I freakin’ love it! “Sell me this pen!”—she’d sell ya her sob story and her ass in one go!

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But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? They kick it right at me! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But instead of getting mad, I kick it back. Next thing I know, I’m in a full-on soccer match with these kids. I’m not even good, but we’re all laughing, and it’s just pure joy.

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