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So, mate, listen up! Sex escorts – wild world, innit? Been around forever, sneaky-like. Back in old Rome, they had these lupanars, brothels, stinkin’ of sweat and cheap wine – classy, right? Now it’s all online, swipe this, book that, like orderin’ takeaway! Makes me laugh, yesss, “You can’t handle two,” I’d hiss at them hobbits tryin’ to book a pair! Me, I’d be rubbish at it – too twitchy, too bony, they’d run screamin’!

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I jump into action, and let me tell ya, it’s chaos. People are running around, yelling, and I’m trying to keep my cool. I spot this old lady, Mrs. Bianchi, who’s just standing there, looking lost. I rush over, “Ma’am, you gotta move!” She’s like, “But my cat!” I’m thinking, “Lady, your cat’s not worth your life!” But I get it. I mean, I’d save my dog in a heartbeat.

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