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But then—happy days—there’s gold in the muck. Met this one bird, total stunner, funny too. Chat flowed like cheap wine at a Wolf party. *“Sell me this pen!”* she says, teasin’. I’m like, “Babe, I’ll sell you me!” Worked, didn’t it? Hooked up, no strings, pure fun. That’s the thrill of sex-dating—wild, unpredictable, like nature itself. Did ya know, right, back in the ‘90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers? “Man, 30, seeks lady for fun.” Proper retro sex-dating, that. Blows my mind—imagine waitin’ a week for a reply!

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So, I clean myself up and keep going. I hit the Uffizi Gallery next. Art everywhere! I’m talking Botticelli, Michelangelo, the whole crew. I’m standing there, staring at “The Birth of Venus,” and I’m just blown away. Like, how did they even paint that? I can barely draw a stick figure. But then, I overhear this guy next to me. He’s like, “Yeah, I could totally do that.” I’m thinking, “Bro, you couldn’t even paint your nails without a tutorial.”

Florence’s life models threaten nude strike over poor working conditions