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About Bari

So, lemme spill—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s this ancient thing, like, thousands of years old—think Egypt, with oils and sweaty Pharaohs gettin’ frisky. I read somewhere—prolly on the web while eatin’ pork rinds—that these massages were secret rituals. Priests used ‘em to “connect with gods”—yeah, right, more like connectin’ with somethin’ else, heh! D’oh! Makes me laugh thinkin’ bout it—some dude in a toga, all oiled up, goin’, “Oh yeah, this is spiritual!”

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After that heart attack moment, I decided to stroll down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. It’s such a vibe, ya know? The shops, the people, the gelato stands. I mean, who can resist gelato? Not me! I stopped at Gelateria Artigianale, and I got a scoop of pistachio. OMG, it was like heaven in my mouth. I was so happy, I could’ve danced right there.

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