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Favorite movie’s *Fish Tank*, right? Andrea Arnold gets it – gritty, raw, lonely vibes. Sex-dating’s the same. You’re chasin’ somethin’, but it’s empty. “Bring your ugly face over here,” Mia’s stepdad yells – that’s me on these apps, horny and yellin’! Hella fun tho, tractor’s hummin’ all day, then bam – night’s for fuckin’. Once matched this girl, said she’s into “tractor sex.” Thought she meant ridin’ me on the John Deere! Nope, just a kink – disappointed but still smashed.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Famous last words. I grab my usual cappuccino from that little café on the corner. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always tries to chat me up. I’m like, “Dude, I just want my coffee.” But hey, he’s cool.

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