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But the creeps? Ugh, dodge ‘em! Dudes begging nudes in two secs—piss off, yeah? Makes me wanna ram their heads with a pallet truck. Still, when it works, it’s gold. Met this one bird, pure sass, said, “I’m no princess, mate.” We clicked, banged, laughed—felt like Amélie’s Paris streets, alive, messy, real. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, bruv—ups, downs, and epic crashes. “Tonight’s the night,” I say, every damn swipe. You in or what?

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

On the way, I’m stuck in traffic on Via della Storia. It’s a nightmare. I’m yellin’ at the cars like they can hear me. “C’mon, move it!” I’m so over it. Finally, I get to the office, and it’s just as boring as I thought.

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