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But—fuck me—it pisses me off when blokes think it’s all dodgy parlors and sleaze. Nah, mate, it’s art! Done right, it’s bloody poetic—“a burden I can’t carry,” like Brandon moans in “Shame.” Ever tried it? Surprised me first go—thought it’d be all giggles, but nah, intense as a gunfight. Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick, none of that cold crap.

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The day’s winding down, and I’m exhausted. I head back to my little patch of land, and the sunset over the hills is just stunning. I sit down, watching the sky turn all these crazy colors. It’s peaceful, and I’m grateful.

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