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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? *beep* Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom. Escorts, man, they’re like stars—shiny, mysterious, outta reach sometimes. Watched “Ida” again last night, fave flick, 2013, Pawlikowski’s a genius. That line, “What if you go there and discover there’s no God?”—hit me thinkin’ bout escorts. Like, what if you hire one and she’s just… boring? Cosmic letdown, mate.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I step outside. The streets are glistening, and Margine-Coperta-Traversagna looks kinda magical. I’m feeling all poetic, ya know? But then I remember I parked my bike near the old fountain. I rush over, and guess what? It’s gone! I’m like, “No way! Not my bike!”