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Almost Famous again, “I am a golden god!” Escorts got that aura, confidence that slaps, but they’re humble too. I’m just sayin’, they’re not what you think. One time, I read ‘bout an escort who collected art, lowkey funded galleries. Mind blown!

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But then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can you tell me a story?” And I’m like, “Sure, kid! Once upon a time, in a town called Marino, a guide had the worst day ever!” He laughs, and suddenly, I’m not so mad anymore. Kids have a way of doing that, ya know?

Marlins to transform Opening Day into Opening Dade as pro football hall of famer and South Florida legend Dan Marino to throw out ceremonial first pitch in series of festivities on Thursday, March 27