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About Bologna

Lemme tell ya, last week I tried it—buddy hooked me up with this chick who’s a pro. Walked in, all nervous, guitar-calloused hands shakin’. She’s like, “Relax, dude,” and I’m thinkin’, “Oh, I’m ridin’ the fury road now!” Oil hits my back—boom—muscles unclench, stress peels off like burnt rubber. Felt like Max after a win, ya know? “I live, I die, I live again!”—except I’m just lyin’ there, half-naked, lovin’ it.

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After my caffeine crisis, I strolled down to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this beautiful park, all green and stuff. I was just chillin’, enjoying the sun, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic, right? But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was so mad, yelling at the bird like it understood him. I mean, c’mon, it’s a pigeon!

Trofeo Oro in Euro: Elisa Longo Borghini leads the registered athletes