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Sarcasm? Oh, I got plenty. “Sure, she’s a supermodel,” I’d mutter, drivin’ to some sketchy alley. Surprised me once, though—this chick knew *Margaret* quotes! “Life’s a series of mistakes,” she says, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Well, damn, that’s deep for 2 a.m.” Made me think—maybe we’re all just fumblin’ like Lisa in that movie, tryna figure it out.

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, you feathered fiend!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, trying to play it cool. But inside, I’m dying.