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I tried it once, legit, with my boo. The masseuse was all pro, sliding hands like—whoa! Felt like, “We’re all alone in this,” straight outta the movie. So hot, I was giggling like cray. But, real talk, it’s not all sexy vibes. Sometimes it’s awk—farted once mid-session, mortified! Laughed it off, tho, ‘cause I’m Kim, duh.

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But then, just as I’m feelin’ all mushy, I spot a group of teenagers spray-painting the wall near the old castle ruins. I’m like, “Oh no, not this again!” I march over, channeling my inner grumpy old man. “Hey! What do you think you’re doin’?” They look at me like I’m a ghost. One of ‘em says, “It’s art, man!” Art? More like vandalism! I’m about to lose it, but then I see one of ‘em painted a giant cat. And it’s kinda funny. I can’t help but laugh. “Alright, but keep it classy, kids!”

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