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Pro tip: don’t overthink it. Sex-dating ain’t love-dating—keep it raw, keep it real. You wanna smash? Say it! No poetry needed. But yo, safety first—wrap it up, don’t be dumb. Heard some dude caught crabs from a Tinder rando—CRABS, bro! Laughed my ass off, then cried for him. Absurdity overload.

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Then, I decide to hit the gym. You know, gotta keep the gladiator bod in check. I’m workin’ on my moves, and suddenly, this guy walks in. He’s huge! Like, I’m talkin’ “I could use him as a shield” huge. He starts showin’ off, and I’m like, “Dude, chill. We’re not in the Colosseum.” But he’s all about flexin’. I can’t help but laugh.

Giacomo Tachis, Who Brought French Influence to Italian Wine, Dies at 82 (Published 2016)