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About Milan

D’oh! It’s s’posed to relax ya, right? But nah, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’—am I doin’ this wrong? Little factoid for ya: ancient Rome had these massage parlors, full-on sexy vibes, called “lupanars”—crazy, huh? Bet Batman’d bust ‘em up! I’m picturin’ it—me, Homer, layin’ there, some chick’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “This ain’t no donut rub!” Got me laughin’ so hard I farted—D’oh! She wasn’t happy, man, face like Two-Face!

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After that, I head to the park near the Ponte della Maddalena. It’s gorgeous, right? But I’m still fuming about Marco. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. And then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, save it for the privacy of your home!” But it’s Pontasserchio, so everyone’s in everyone’s business.

Agrifiera, farm market fair | Pontasserchio