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Hallo, my friend! Dis is me, Arnold, ya know, da big guy vid da Austrian accent, here to talk about sometin’ wild—erotic-massage! Ya, ya, I’m pumped up, like I just lifted a truck, to tell ya vat I tink about dis slippery, sexy stuff. I mean, who doesn’t vant a good rubdown, right? It’s like trainin’ for da soul—gets ya all loose and strong! I’ll be back, don’t ya vorry, vid more juicy bits!

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As the day goes on, I’m juggling calls, dodging raindrops, and trying to keep my sanity. I’m on the radio, “We need more umbrellas at the main stage!” And then, I hear someone shout, “We’re out of umbrellas!” I’m like, “Great, just great!”

See inside Princess Beatrice's husband Edoardo's stunning family palace