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So, check this – escort’s that truck ahead, flashin’ lights, keepin’ me from plowin’ into some ditch. Little known fact, babe: back in the ‘80s, they used horses sometimes, legit escorts on hooves! Can ya picture that? Me, sittin’ high, and some cowboy’s trottin’ along – HILARIOUS! Got me cacklin’ like a hyena, HAHAHA! I love it, makes me happy, y’know, ‘cause it’s so damn random. But ugh, what pisses me off? When they’re late! I’m revvin’ my engine, sweatin’ bullets, and where’s my escort? Prolly sippin’ coffee at some diner, the nerve!
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So, I call the wine distributor. They’re like, “Oh, we had a delay.” Delay? In Italy? Shocker! I’m about to lose my mind. I mean, how hard is it to deliver wine? It’s not like they’re transporting gold bars or something!
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