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So, we chat, and I’m feelin’ big, bold, like, “You’re da best, babe!” She’s got dis spark, like Léa Seydoux in da movie, all fierce and sexy, and I’m like, “I could watch you all day!”—straight outta *Blue*, ja! But den, some sleazy dude rolls up, yellin’ at her, and I’m pissed, flexin’, ready to say, “Hasta la vista, creep!” Surprised me how quick it got real, ya know? I ain’t her hero, but I’m thinkin’, “Dis world’s tough, man.”

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm? Nah, didn’t hear it. So, I’m rushing through breakfast, spilling coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I hop on my bike, zooming down Via Roma, dodging potholes like I’m in some crazy video game. Povegliano is a small town, but man, those streets can be a maze.

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