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But the fakes? Oh, they grind my gears. Catfish scams—blokes pretending, luring desperate sods. Had a mate fall for it—sent cash, got nada. Laughed my arse off, then felt bad. “The copy becomes the original,” sure, but not when it’s a bloody lie! Still, real escorts? They’ve got stories—some sad, some bonkers. One told me she had a client knit her a scarf mid-session. A scarf! Cracked me up—sex and knitting, what a combo.

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We start chatting, and he’s all about organic farming. I’m like, “Okay, respect.” But then he says something that gets under my skin. He’s like, “I’m gonna revolutionize the wine industry.” I’m rolling my eyes, thinking, “Good luck with that, buddy.”

A Medieval Man Used a Knife as a Prosthetic Limb