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What pisses me off? Hypocrites, man! Blokes judgin’ whores while sneakin’ round themselves—grotty sods. I’m all, “Let’s get it on, yeah!”—live and let live, baby. Happiest I’ve been? Met this bird once, swore she’d done every geezer in Soho—legend! She laughed, “I’ve processed it all,” like Dodd’s loony cult talk, and I’m just sittin’ there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “Shag me, she’s a riot!”

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I get to the field, and it’s a mess. Like, weeds everywhere! I’m talking jungle vibes. I’m trying to figure out how to tackle this when I spot old Mr. Bianchi. He’s the local farmer, and he’s got this wild sense of humor. He shouts, “Hey, agronomist! You lost?” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to lose my mind!”

Figure 3: Helminth eggs identified in samples from Roman-period and...