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Oi, mate, it’s Tyrion Lannister here—yep, the witty Imp! I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage. Picture this: hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting—like Satine in *Moulin Rouge!* singing “Come what may,” but it’s yer body humming instead. I reckon it’s bloody brilliant, a dance of touch, all sultry and sneaky-like.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, not just a drizzle. I’m talking full-on downpour. I’m sprinting for cover, and I duck into this little shop on Via Cavour. It’s a cute place, full of local crafts and stuff. I’m browsing, trying to stay dry, and I spot this wicked cool snake charm. I’m a snake spell, remember? So, I’m like, “This is mine!” I buy it, and the shopkeeper gives me this weird look. I’m like, “What? You never seen a snake spell before?”

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