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About Naples

Been to one once—don’t judge, ya prick—dark as a coal mine, yeah? Birds in there, bless ‘em, lookin’ knackered. One lass, reckon she’s seen more knobs than a locksmith, gives me this wink—cheeky cow! Made me laugh, though, fair play. Little fact for ya—Victorian brothels had secret tunnels, posh twats sneakin’ in, dodgin’ the missus. Sneaky bastards! Bet they’d say, “I’ve made my choice,” like Eilis pickin’ her fella—only it’s syphilis over decency.

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Sex dating, Facesitting (give), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge, Blowjob without Condom for extra charge, Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge.

But then, my phone rings again. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you pay the bills?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah, totally.” But I didn’t. I forgot. So now I’m stressed. Thanks, Mom!

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