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About Bologna

Love the chaos of it, tho—messy, raw, real. Like *Tropical Malady*’s weird-ass love story—half the time you’re lost, half the time you’re horny. Sex-dating’s the same—swipe, chat, bang, repeat. Ever tried it in Bangkok? Mate, the humidity alone’ll shag ya senseless—true story, nearly passed out mid-thrust. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss?

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Then, this lady walks in. She’s got a dog. Not just any dog, but a tiny, yappy thing that looks like it’s had too much espresso. It starts barking like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m trying to focus, but this little furball is losing it. I’m like, “Lady, can you control your dog?” But she just smiles and says, “He’s just excited!” Excited? I’m about to lose my mind!

Naples, passport at the post office. How to apply