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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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But then, the power goes out! Just like that, everything’s dark. I’m fumbling around, trying to find my phone for light. Customers are freaking out. “What’s happening?” “Is it the end of the world?” I’m like, “Nah, just a Tuesday in San-Leone-Mose.”