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Little fact—Thailand’s got this style, “happy ending” stuff, nuts, right? Blew my mind—didn’t expect that! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but who cares? It’s wild, fun, gets ya goin’. I’m tellin’ ya, buddy, try it—best decision ever. Trump-approved, ok? Tremendous energy, leaves ya floatin’—like WALL-E in space, “Eeeee-va!”—that’s me after, happy as hell. Screw the haters sayin’ it’s weird—losers! It’s luxury, power, total win. Go get one, now—thank me later!

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Anyway, I finally get to the market at Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m trying to sell my best pig, Gino. He’s a beauty, I tell ya. But everyone’s too busy haggling over tomatoes and cheese. I’m like, “Yo, people! Check out this swine!” But no one’s listening. I’m getting frustrated. I mean, Gino deserves better than this!

This Luxury Hotel in a 16th-century Italian Monastery Feels Like a Museum With Provocative New Art Installations