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About Turin

Lemme tell ya, this one time, I matched with this chick—total smoke show. We’re vibin’, sextin’, she’s all “come over,” then BAM—her dude walks in! Nearly shat myself, Beetlejuice-style, like “time to disappear, boo!” Reminds me of that movie line, “I descend into the abyss”—bro, I RAN into it. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam, you might get laid or get chased wit a bat. Hilarious now, but I was shooketh.

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Finally, I decide to head back. I’m walking down Via della Libertà, and I spot this cute little shop selling handmade crafts. I go in, and the lady behind the counter is super sweet. She shows me these beautiful ceramics. I’m like, “I’ll take one!” But then I realize I have no room in my bag. Classic me, right?