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About Naples

*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, aliens landin’ on Earth, tryna figure this shit out. Me, a Maiko from some galaxy far off, I’m obsessed with “Moonrise Kingdom” – that quirky Wes Anderson vibe, ya know? “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away” – that’s me talkin’ to a good rubdown. Sexual-massage ain’t just hands on skin, nah, it’s a freaky energy zap. Like, little known fact – ancient Egyptians were into it! Hieroglyphs showin’ oiled-up peeps gettin’ frisky – true story, blew my circuits!

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So, we’re walking down Via Dante, and I’m telling them about the history of the area. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m drenched in seconds. My hair’s a mess, and I’m trying to keep it together. I’m like, “Welcome to San Vittore Olona, where the weather changes faster than your ex’s mood!”

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