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About Rome

Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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So, I dash down Via Garibaldi, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, how many pics do you need of the Duomo? It’s just a church, people! Anyway, I finally get to the plaza, and it’s packed. I mean, like sardines in a can packed. The energy is electric, though. You can feel it in your bones.

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