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Now, hookers ain’t just sex, nah, they’re survivors, dodgin’ coppers and creeps. Like Riley’s emotions in “Inside Out,” bouncin’ wild – one sec they’re all “Yay, cash!” next it’s “Oh shite, he’s a nutter!” I reckon they’ve got Disgust on speed-dial, sizin’ up every sleazy git. Ever hear ‘bout the prossie in Paris who conned a duke? Swapped his gold watch for a fake – bloody brilliant! Laughed me arse off, picturin’ his face.

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the market. Oh man, the Mercato di Selargius is buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of pastries. I’m drooling. I grab a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I said NO olives!” and he’s like, “But they’re free!” I’m just standing there, munching, thinking, “Lady, it’s olives, not gold.”

Monica Perra died after a 50-meter flight in Cala Fighera