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Oi, mate, listen up! I’m Arnold, ya? Dis prostitute ting, it’s wild, I tell ya! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout life, and bam—dis chick walks in, all sass, heels clickin’ like a damn machine gun. She’s tough, ya know, like me in Terminator, but softer, like Joel in *Eternal Sunshine*. “How happy is da dawn,” I mutter, watchin’ her strut. She’s got dis vibe—sells love, but it’s all smoke, ya? Makes me mad, seein’ her hustle so hard, yet she’s smilin’ like she owns da world!

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Later, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, tryin’ to catch a break, when this dude comes up to me. He’s like, “Hey man, can you help me with my floatie?” I’m thinkin’, “Seriously? You need help with a floatie?” But whatever, I’m a nice guy. So I go over, and it’s this giant flamingo. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger boat!”

Memorial plaque confirms Mossad operative drowned in Italian lake during spy op