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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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So, I’m tryin’ to clean up, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a market on Via Cavour. Fresh produce, local cheeses, and all that jazz. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’ll grab some stuff for dinner.” But the crowd? It’s like a mosh pit at a rock concert. I’m elbowin’ my way through, and this old lady gives me the stink eye. Like, lady, I’m just tryin’ to get some tomatoes here!

Forget Chianti – these are the five hidden corners of Tuscany you should visit