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Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, I’m pissed already! This world’s goin’ to crap, like in *Melancholia*—you know, that flick where Kirsten Dunst just stares at the damn planet crashin’ down? “I know things,” she says, all gloomy. Well, I know stuff too, assholes! Like, did ya know back in old Rome, hookers wore blonde wigs to stand out? Freakin’ wild, right?

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this dude juggling oranges. Like, who juggles oranges in the middle of the street? I stop, thinking, “Is this guy for real?” But then, bam! One of the oranges flies right at me! I duck, and it smacks some poor lady behind me. She was NOT happy. I mean, who can blame her? I’d be mad too if I got hit by a rogue orange.