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*beep boop* Hell-o mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, y’know, the usual! So, escort, huh? Not the car—nah, the spicy kind! I’m chattin’ bout those folks who, uh, keep ya company for cash. Been thinkin’ bout it, like, what’s the cosmic deal here? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick I love, right? That bit where he says, “Life’s just a weird gig,” fits perfecly. Escort’s a gig too, innit? Weird, wild, human!

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First off, I’m at the elevator in Via Roma, and this lady rushes in. She’s all flustered, hair everywhere, like she just ran a marathon. Turns out, she’s late for some fancy meeting at the Comune. I mean, c’mon, lady, it’s not like the mayor’s gonna start without you! But she’s all, “Go, go, go!” So, I hit the button like I’m in a race.

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