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About Turin

Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good rubdown—Madea’s back be actin’ up from haulin’ these fools outta trouble! But sexual-massage? That’s next level, y’all! Little fact—back in the day, them ancient Greeks was all ‘bout it, callin’ it some fancy “healin’ touch” mess. They wasn’t wrong! It’s sensual, sure, but it’s science too—gets that blood flowin’, muscles screamin’ “Halleluyer!” I got HAPPY first time I tried it—thought I’d float off the table, chile! Like, “This is my place now,” straight outta the movie vibes.

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First off, I had to run to the lab. You know, the one near the old church, Chiesa di Sant’Andrea? Yeah, that place. I’m a biochemist, but sometimes I feel like a mad scientist. Anyway, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. They’re all snapping pics of the lake, and I’m just trying to get to work without tripping over a cobblestone.

Arthur Serrières and Helena Karásková win XTERRA Lake Garda