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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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Then, around noon, I head out for a break. I stroll down Via Mazzini, grabbin’ a slice of pizza. Man, the pizza here is legendary! I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ life’s good. But then, I see this guy, Paolo, tryin’ to parallel park his car. It’s a disaster! He’s bumpin’ into the curb like it’s a dance partner. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost choke on my pizza.

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