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I got into it once, right? Some chick in Tampa, she’s all “Hogan, relax,” and I’m like—relax? Me? The Hulkster?! But then, WHAM, her hands hit my traps, and I’m down for the count, brother! Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, gladiators got oiled up post-fight, sexual-massage style, to keep ‘em loose. True story! Ain’t that wild? History’s full of freaky shit like that.

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Then, this guy comes in, right? He’s got a surfboard. A freakin’ surfboard! In the shop! I’m like, “Dude, you know this ain’t a beach rental, right?” He just laughs and says he’s gonna hit the waves at Capo Vaticano. I’m like, “Good luck, man! Hope you don’t wipe out!” He gives me a thumbs up and heads out. I’m still chuckling when the next customer walks in.

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