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So, picture this—dim lights, weird music, some gal whisperin’ sexy junk. “You’re a soldier,” she says, like in “Carlos”—total turn-on! Hands slidin’ like fish in a tank—surprised me how good it felt! Mmm… donuts. Thought in my head: “This beats fishin’!” Exaggeratin’ here, but felt like a freakin’ king—better than beer! Little story—heard some dude in Japan invented a “happy end” version—sneaky bastard! Hilarious, but genius.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the quarterly report.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a flaming circus here!” But I can’t ignore him. So I step away, trying to find a quiet spot. I end up on Via Mazzini, and it’s packed. People everywhere, and I’m just trying to focus on my phone.

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